For His Love
by thelivinggirl
Summary: Prussia would do anything for Canada. Warning; Unhappy ending, but I may do a happy!Sequel. EDIT: I am definately doing a sequel due to strong demand, and so the status is now In Progress. Rating may be raised to M.
1. Chapter 1

Prussia loved Canada too much.

Too much for blond, too much for maple, too much for loopy curls and red-clad arms that ached to be filled.

By giving Canada his heart, Prussia foolishly gained Canada's heart in return. And he treasured it.

Prussia should have known better, but he was blinded by the beauty of what he had received - a beacon of quiet joy, of shy smiles and skinny ribs, to come home to. To love. To take care of.

The day he had found out that Russia was gaining his lands, and he was going to die while Russia grew bigger, Canada had cried and clung and swore that everything was going to be okay. But Prussia knew the truth; that he was going to die, and Canada's beautiful, fragile heart was going to be destroyed.

But if there was anything Prussia had learned after surviving so many battles and wars, it was that scars were strong and tight. They were ugly, but they were tougher than normal skin by far.

So he decided to save Canada's heart. If he hurt it badly enough, the damage would be replaced with scar tissue, and it would be strong enough to survive his death.

On the last night, he allowed himself to bask in Canada one last time. Lips were worshiped, skin stroked, face cradled, hair smelled, soft noises engraved in his memory forever. In the last minutes, he wrapped Canada in his arms and Canada's legs around his waist and as they moved together, his mind and heart screamed _CanadaCanadaCANADA_ and his body screamed with release and he almost failed to carry out his plan.

But as he came, he forced his throat to scream the one word that would burn his lips, damn him to hell, and wrap Canada's heart in enough scar tissue to survive anything. Because Prussia would save Canada, even if Canada hated him for it. In fact, he was counting on Canada hating him for this. _Gott_, please let Canada hate him for this.

"Ah - _AMERICA!"_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: The following 'chapters' will be written in a different style than the initial chapter. In fact, don't think of this as a chapter-fic, because it's not; think of the first 'chapter' as a one-shot, and these subsequent sections as a sequel-fic that's being uploaded in small parts. So no, this is not all. There will be more.**

*.*.*.*.*

Matthew came at the same time as Gilbert. He came with the sound of his lover shouting his brother's name in his ear. Matthew came hard, Alfred's name doing nothing to stop the inevitable.

They both remained stiff in the moments that followed, a painful counterpoint to the memories of the past, when they'd fall into each other with hot breath and lazy hands tracing sweaty backs and _kisses_- Gilbert moved, pulling out not to flop down next to him, but instead to sit back on his heels between Matthew's wantonly spread legs, staring at the blond nation with expressionless, calculating eyes. Canada wondered what he saw.

Matthew stood and wrapped himself in the flannel bathrobe hanging from the bedpost, moving gingerly to the window where he looked out over the frozen lands of his northern areas. Gilbert hadn't moved an iota, but tracked Matthew with his eyes.

Canada touched the windowpane with his fingertips, the freezing glass biting to his flushed skin. _Should have known should have known should have known._ It was all too good to be true. He had known it from the beginning. But the pain was so great, his body felt numb to it, as if it had gone into shock with the sudden transfer from incomprehensible pleasure to soul-crushing reality.

Prussia sat on the edge of the bed, his paper-white arms resting on his thighs as his electric red eyes leveled at Matthew. Inscrutable. Soulless. Inhuman. _Beautiful, loving, laughing, thought he was mine…_

Tears tracked, without permission, down Canada's cheeks as he only allowed himself to look at his _lover is what you call one who loves you he does not _fuck buddy through his peripheral vision. He cleared his voice a few times, working past the stone of heartbreak in his throat, to speak.

"I saved you." Matthew said. Gilbert's eyes widened. "If you look at the documents I brought with me, you can see it. I wanted to show you earlier, but we got…" he faded off before starting again. "'New Prussia' is now a township in Ontario. It's a step down from being a nation, but you get to be its entity. Besides," he turned and headed into the bathroom, exuding nonchalance as he felt himself about to break down, "You'll live much closer to Alfred this way."

Matthew shut the door behind him and turned on the shower before climbing out the bathroom window. He curled up on the frigid deck, his wailing, devastated sobs heard only by the frozen, lifeless tundra spread before him.

He didn't know that his cries were echoed ten-fold by the heartbroken screams being muffled into his mattress.


	3. To My Readers

Hey guys. I just wanted to say THANKS for all of the amazing feedback I've been getting.  
I love writing this fic – I do. I never get tired of writing it.

BUT BUT BUT…

I have almost NO FUCKING CLUE how to make it have a happy ending. I could just continue with the angst because I don't mind that, but I WANT them to be happy, and I'm pretty sure you guys do too, damn it! I just don't know how to make them happy.

*HEADDESK*

Until I do, I won't be posting a new section. SORRY.

And please, if you have any idea how to REALISTICALLY make this work out for the best, comment or send me a message. You'll get credit if I use it, promise.

…

Wow, that was really sad. I'm begging my readers for plot ideas… damn. Writing fail. *hangs head in shame*


	4. Chapter 4

There were no words for the pain.

Prussia screamed until he grew so hoarse, it sounded and felt as if his throat was lined with sharp rocks and he retched bile onto the wet sheets.

When it finally stopped, he could hear the shower continue to run.

Eventually, he pulled himself together. Picked up the frozen nation outside and carried him back in through the window. Not knowing what else to do, he tucked the sleeping (_unconscious?)_ man into bed and curled up next to him.

Unable to help himself, he took the blond into his arms and moved his face near enough to feel Canada's sweet breath on his mouth. Carefully, deliberately, he inhaled whenever Mattie exhaled, taking as much of the North American nation into himself as he could, even if it was only until he released his breath once again. Even though his skin prickled with raw need, he restrained himself from resting his cheek against the blond's.

Canada slept on. Gilbert struggled to stay awake, but sleep was inevitable. Sex and the most severe emotional distress he had ever felt in his entire life combined to wage war on his eyelids until the great Prussia surrendered to disjointed nightmares of forgetting the feel and smell and beauty of Canada.

When he awoke, it was to the most beautiful and trusting eyes he had ever known staring at him with the utmost misery and betrayal.

The eye contact lasted a moment until the younger man tried to roll away from him. Prussia stopped him with a gentle yet immovable hand cupping his cheek. Canada immediately ceased moving, but closed his eyes, unable to bear the sight of his new township.

"Please…" Gilbert began. Matthew flinched at the sound of his voice, which only made Prussia helplessly press him closer. "Please let me try and explain…"

*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Tbc

**A/N: Yes, this is even shorter than usual. Sorry. Yes, this is obscenely overdue. Sorry. Yes, it really didn't move the plot at all. Sorry.**

**The good news is that I will now be posting again regularly, every few days. Thank you to everyone who commented and messaged with ideas, support, and help. It's so very appreciated, and I really can't say how much it meant to me that so many people care about my story.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sudden ending was sudden even to the author! Thanks for all of you who stuck by this story and helped me along the way. I decided not to drag this out, go the logical route without any more severe drama or angsting. I hope this satisfies you, even if it isn't nearly as good as I had hoped.**

He laid it all on the table. All of it.

Prussia held nothing back, words of apology and adoration spilling artlessly from his lips, stumbling and explaining why he said what he had and how he felt about Mattie.

He said every thought that had ever run through his head when he saw the boy. How he felt when they first met. The first kiss, the first fight, the first night, and all of the seconds and thirds and hundredths in between. He talked with such passion for so long that somehow, despite his resolve, he had gravitated towards Canada and finished his rambling monologue into the blond's collarbone.

"… and _Gott_, Mattie, please Birdie, I love you so much, Christ how I love you, America is a fucking asshole and I only said what I did because I need you to be okay even if I'm not, so please, please Birdie please stop crying because _Gott_ I love you and I'll never plan anything ever again if only you'll believe me, Mattie, you smell so fucking good you're so nice and soft and _please_…"

By the end of it all, Gilbert's hair was soaked through where Matthew had buried his face

~.~.~.~

When it was all over, Prussia realized that maybe, someday, Matthew would feel as secure as he did before. For now, he would remain a little bit fragile. A little bit wary, a little bit sadder. Prussia would have to be gentler, more considerate, and _better_ as best as he could, if only to eventually get them back to where they once were.

With Mattie sleeping curled in his arms, he realized that maybe that wasn't such a bad thing after all.

~End


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